I set my clocks early ’cause I know I’m always late

***

im back being a lyrics freak. fob ftw!

-J

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31st what?

Happy Independence day everyone. Just so you know, i do not have a merdeka post this year because well … my views about Malaysia have changed and i don’t share the same sentiments and spirit like before, anymore. Nevertheless, i am grateful that i am here today, and i am also thankful to a lot of people who’ve made my journey in life thus far so “interesting”!

:)

a few random notes on my observation lately

* i like it when i am actually the “ah moi” who ordered burger at the ramlee stall. i am also the ahmoi at the mamak, the carwash, the kopitiam, the petrolstation, etc. weird thing is, i don’t get the ahmoi treatment when i was in sarawak at all.

* my mum placed a hugeass malaysia flag(jalur gemilang) outside our house. i thought it looked pretty.

* August was the independence month and i remember how every car on the road actually have a mini flag on it few years back. i don’t see any of it this year on any car. maybe i wasn’t observant enough. But yeah, i miss those times.

* remember those patriotic songs they used to air on rtm? they were aired on the exact time everyday, around 6.55pm right before the news at night and i would wait in front of the tv just to sing the song (because i was the nerdy girl in school choir) and then let my mum watch the news. i used to be so patriotic… you have no idea how much i used to love Malaysia.

Dirgahayu Tanah Airku, was my favourite song to date. somehow, it just never fails to plant a smile on my face. :)

***

Anyhoo…

random shots of me. wow.. it’s been a while since i actually posted proper pictures of myself here in my blog. Guess what, i also blew up my flashgun last weekend. :( Nothing canon can not fix i guess. will send the speedlite back to canon and see if it’s curable.

and yes, i have aged and look so much older. but i am still the same and i will never believe in beauty creams.

gotta go!

the week is going to be super exciting and i am anticipating to rock and roll !

-J

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for the first time in the last time

You by the light
Is the greatest find
In a world full wrong you’re the thing that’s right
Finally made it through the lonely to the other side

You said it again my heart’s in motion
Every word feels like a shooting star
I’m at the edge of my emotions
Watching the shadows burning in the dark,
And I’m in love and I’m terrified.
For the first time in the last time
In my only life.

***

i am so glad, i made it through the night. sometimes the people you thought you could trust are the people who you should just walk away from. experience taught me to be just an observer, to just walk away, to just leave them alone, disillusioned. there’s no reason for explanation and words. the truth, will always reveal in time.

i hope karma would work it’s magic, as payback, is always the biggest, in your face, victory.

i would say, i am glad, I’ve made the best decision in my life, walking away from the hellhole which was heaven in disguised. I am proud that… I’ve been true to myself, and I know … that there’s always sunshine after the rain and lies… well, the woman who fears no truth has nothing to fear from lies.

living my awesome life with integrity,
Jen

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