(picture taken @ Tai O, Hong Kong, with a stray looking for attention, food and most likely, love and attention)
1.been thinking less lately. I usually do a lot of thinking when i’m all bummed with life, but this time around, all i had in mind was FUCK IT. like as if i don’t fucking faced worse. You know the saying, when life throws lemon… add vodka? PRECISELY my point.
2.pretentious people. i’m surrounded by them every corner of my life. So fucking fake. sometimes i ask myself, am i ONE of them? Will i be ONE of them? Just a few days back, a friend of mine was a completely different person in front of someone he just met. 360 change of personality. after we left, he was back to his normal self. What. The. FUCK. WHY the fake humbleness? Why the fake manners? Sometimes human disappoint me in the funniest way. One of my colleague decided to leave for greener pastures. I sincerely hoped that he can survive the agency life out there, since he told me that he can’t take the agency life anymore, but in the end, decided to go to another agency. It’s not about where he will be going, but more of, can he handle the shit out there if he can’t handle it here. but then again, i think i’m tired of caring, of thinking on behalf of others. people tell me that we have to put other people’s feeling before ours. we have to think of others before we speak. we have to think of people’s feelings.. etc
then again, we are all just so freaking fragile. each and every one of us. why are we trying to protect ourselves so much and exude lies to people of how happy/wealthy/popular/well-mannered/whatever or whoever we are when we are clearly the opposite?
why cant we just be our 100% true self?
there is nothing fucking wrong with that.
(I think this is one of the main reasons why i talked less over the years. simply by listening, i started seeing people’s true colors, even before they speak)
3.people come and go in life. my aunt just passed away yesterday morning from cancer. Every time a relative of mine passed away, i will sort of have a really really really bad moment in life. the timing and all that shit. all of it trying to mess with my emotions and mental strength. Then again, i try to cheer myself up by telling myself yeah, life’s like that. and life is short. dont waste it on people who dont fucking care about the things you do and dont appreciate them. moreover, dont fucking waste your time on drama. just dont.
4. bah, forgive my vulgarity but im stucked with a few down low. nevermind my fucking car which is in the workshop for the 3rd day and also the fucking amount wasted to fix it. nevermind the fucking mgmt for playing mind games with my team. nevermind that we all live a fake life trying to please others and not ourselves. and nevermind that life is fucking short and good people dies. fucking nevermind.
5. i have more, but im late to go pick-up my car and then my mum. so…